The Girl Who Died Next Door - 3

Emotions are what make us human and inherently irrational and of all the myriad emotions we are capable of experiencing, the most illogical of all is happiness. Happiness is the sneakiest phenomenon I know of. The next time you find yourself feeling bubbly for no reason – make an attempt to pinpoint the exact moment when the feeling descended on you. I guarantee you that you will have no success. That’s just how happiness is. The end of it is as noticeable as a woman in a throng of men but the beginning? That’s a mystery as old as the origin of time. And so on that day after I told Shayan the story of Suvarna Ganguly, I found myself walking with a spring in my step and smiling so often I woke up to the fact only when I glanced in the mirror. Yes, it was a Sunday. But I’ve known so many Sundays when I woke up groggy and frustrated at 12 in the afternoon, already depressed at the fact that the weekend was coming to a close and I still had a long list of chores to complete. But this Sunday, I was done with my chores before I knew it and curled up on my verandah with a huge mug of coffee and utter contentment in my heart, I couldn’t for the life of me understand why I had ever felt otherwise! I glanced to my right and I saw him. Shayan. He stood silent and morose, his hair blowing in the light breeze. For some reason, my heart clenched. And simultaneously, that feeling of contentment dropped away from me like a cloak that didn’t quite fit perfectly.

“Shayan?” I called and watched him turn to my side. He attempted a smile but I could literally see the thousand other thoughts in his head flutter around him like ungainly companions. “Hey,” he said. He seemed to consider something and I thought I saw one of his thoughts reach out for me with menacing claws. “I just drew a portrait. You want to come and see?” he asked finally. I recalled how he wouldn’t draw mine and I didn’t want to. But I nodded, smiled and rose from my chair. I pulled on a shirt over my tank top and track pants and padded over to Shayan’s place, still in my indoor chappals. His door was wide open and the curtains in the hall shook lightly in the breeze. For an instant, the world froze. The colours were sucked out of the scene and in stark black and white, I recalled the day when I found out Suvarna was dead. The Ganguly’s door was wide open just like today when I returned from work one Wednesday night. I couldn’t hear a single sound from inside the house and my first thought was – burglars! I dialled the cops and then arming myself with a Durga statuette from the Ganguly’s mantelpiece, I tiptoed inside the house, my whole body prickling with unease. What if the burglars were still there? But what if they had left the Gangulys to die and I could save them if I found them right away? The thought emboldened me and I pushed open Suvarna’s bedroom door. The unworldly sight that met me is so deeply etched in my mind that I may even remember it in my next life. There stood Mr. and Mrs. Ganguly, absolutely still, reminding me of the statuette that hung limp from my arm. And in front of them Suvarna Ganguly dangled like a rag doll, her head nearly distended from her body as the rope around her neck seemed inclined to hang on, even when the last breath had left her being. I understood the true meaning of the word ‘shock’ then. I never knew when the Durga left my hand and fell to the ground, enlivening the air and our three frozen forms with its stupendous thud. The Gangulys turned and in their haunted eyes I saw disbelief, denial and horror. And then Mrs. Ganguly let out a heart-rending sob and the spell was broken.

***

The clean, vacant flat reminded me of the dozens of sample flats I’d seen when I was new in the city. “Not unpacked yet?” I asked Shayan as he led the way to his ‘drawing studio’. I tried imagining what the rooms would look like when Shayan had settled in completely. Purple walls, I thought for some reason. Set off by a mix of coffee and cream coloured furniture - heady yet calm and collected. “Well here we are,” Shayan said and the vision vanished. What replaced it was the bare remains of Suvarna’s room – the only decoration a hastily done portrait of her standing on an easel next to the large French windows. I simply stared at those huge, defenceless eyes and that long messy hair. “Is it that good?” Shayan asked teasingly, though it didn’t come out quite right because I could tell he was nervous. “She looks older,” I murmured. “This is what she’d look like at my age,” it struck me. “What? I don’t understand,” Shayan said, sounding confused. I snapped out of my daze and for the second time in my life, I confronted shock.

--To be continued—

The Girl Who Died Next Door - 2

Wikimedia Commons

Sunday afternoon is my favourite part of the week - a time when the indefatigable sunshine and the absolute cheer in every home obliterate the mere thought that shadows could exist. I considered it symbolic that Shayan made himself known to me during that time of the week. As I led the way to the couch, I felt the warmth of the sun straight on my skin through the casual white dress I wore. The rays set my nude curtains aglow and somehow, made the tiny hall appear just a little bigger. “Wow, your hall is bigger than mine,” Shayan remarked. “Well I’m sure yours has a bigger something else,” I replied, smiling. “I was just about to have brunch. Would you like to join me?” “Depends on how good a cook you are!” My jaw dropped open and I turned to look at him, arms on my hips, mock insult lifting my eyebrows. “Whoa! That was actually rude!” Shayan held up his hands, laughing. “I’m sorry, brunch sounds totally awesome, considering that I have a completely empty kitchen!” “There are some really good takeout places around here,” I remarked, piling food on a couple of plates so we could take them into the veranda. Oh yes, I had the luxury of a veranda – the only luxury if I may say so. In fact, I could see my neighbour’s veranda from mine and until now, it had been incredibly creepy catching a glimpse into that empty house, collecting dust and lying there, sad and neglected. But now, I found myself appreciating the architecture of the building and even sending a mental nod of approval to the designer, whoever he or she might be.

Shayan offered to carry the plates into the verandah while I got the jug of juice ready. I watched him stride out of the kitchen, admiring that easy gait that still seemed to hide a certain self-assurance. During the course of our sumptuous brunch, I learnt that Shayan was a commercial artist who liked to paint portraits in his spare time. "I'm sure everyone asks you this but do you think you could draw mine?" I asked teasingly. "I don't know yet," he replied cryptically. "What does that mean?" "Making portraits isn't just about replicating someone's features. There needs to be a story to tell. Look at all the famous portraits you know - Mona Lisa, Joan of Arc, Vincent Van Gogh or just visit any art gallery and you'll know. Those aren't just faces you see. Those are countless mysteries hidden behind the best veil known to mankind - one's face." "So are you saying I don't have a story to tell?" I challenged. "I'm saying I don't know yet," Shayan smiled. Human beings can never be completely rational. While the normal me would have asked to see his portrait collection, the emotional me whose ego hadn't liked hearing Shayan's logical yet negative reply chose not to. So I simply changed the subject. "I take it that you're not spooked at the thought of living in a house that played host to a teenage suicide?" Shayan's nonplussed expression confirmed what I had intuitively sensed all along. He had no idea about the history of flat number 13. If he had, he couldn't have possibly looked and sounded the way he did when he knocked on my door - happy, carefree and content. "Come on, don't you read the newspapers?" I asked, my tone holding an almost imperceptible hint of mockery. "Actually I don't," Shayan said, surprising me yet again. To be honest, I do know quite a few people who never read the newspapers. In fact, apart from people in the media fraternity and senior citizens who cannot do without the morning tea and newspaper ritual, I don't know who does anymore. "Her name was Suvarna," I began. My story continued well into the last rays of dusk and the onset of a balmy, rain-starved night. I'm guessing that you'd like to know as well so here goes:

Even though this story is about Suvarna, I'll have to begin with the day I moved into Sunview Apartments. The name was sadly in complete contrast to the dreary dark holes in the walls masquerading as premium dwelling places. I was new in the city and typically full of stars in my eyes - a glamorous new job at a leading television channel, a glamorous new city known for its intoxicating effect on unsuspecting new entrants and the prospect of new friends and perhaps even a new romance. What I hadn't expected was the near cruelty with which people fought for cabs, a tiny inch of space on a train or even the window of opportunity to be the first to cross a busy street. I also hadn't expected the squalor which people seemed to accept as some sort of cosmic punishment for being fortunate enough to have the sort of opportunities most of the country couldn't even hope for. And finally, the nearly intolerable levels of noise and suffocating malodorous air left me with a permanent headache, one that I couldn't shake off even with long warm showers and soft, rejuvenating music. The strange part in all of this was that I still ended up falling in love with the city. Mumbai left me emotional in a way that dear old Pune never had. Where Pune left you feeling content but vaguely bored, Mumbai made you insanely furious and insanely happy. Mumbai made you unbearably frustrated and unimaginably elated. Mumbai made you who you were meant to be - alive and passionate.

One Sunday evening I decided to explore the neighbourhood when I ran into a young girl who looked to be around 14. She was small for her age and her long dark hair didn't really befit her tiny, scared face. I attempted a smile but the girl nearly ran off, leaving me confused and a little insulted. Some of the joy I had experienced when the bright early evening sunshine touched my skin and made the green treetops glitter like emeralds receded. I glimpsed Suvarna several times after that and over time, I learnt to stop smiling the way a pet learns that bad behaviour means no rewards. Human beings aren't really that different from other animals. In fact, the similarity is almost overwhelming but we'd rather have our whole race in denial than admit that unsavoury truth. I spoke to Suvarna's parents sometimes when I ended up on their doorstep to collect a courier I had missed or Mrs. Ganguly turned up to borrow some pins. They seemed like nice people - one a doctor and the other an academician - a picture-perfect Indian couple. For me, the perfect balance of interaction with people I'm not really close to is an occasional friendly exchange with no obligation for long awkward conversations. And that's exactly what I had with the Gangulys. Well, all of them except Suvarna of course. The only exchange I ever had with her was the day she forgot her key.

It was one of those rare days when I had taken an off from work. I never took an off when I was truly unwell. I would drag myself to work and manage to accomplish the most essential tasks even in my sub-productive state. I only took holidays on those days when my moods played havoc and all I wanted was to curl up at home with my favourite television show reruns and a pile of unhealthy snacks that I otherwise avoided. I groaned in impatience when the doorbell rang. There she was - Suvarna. Looking absolutely discomfited and shifting from one foot to the other. I just stared at her, having long given up any hope of interaction. "I...uh," she began and gulped. Oh for god's sake! I thought inwardly. What was it about me that scared her so much?! "I forgot my key at home. So I need the spare," the girl finally managed. I nodded curtly and left her standing on my doorstep while I went in and looked for the key her parents had left with me for emergencies. I waited while Suvarna opened the door and then dropped the key back into my palm, careful not to make any contact. I heaved a sigh of relief when her door shut and this time, I switched my doorbell off before curling up back on my couch. And that was the sum total of my interaction with the late Suvarna Ganguly.

--To be continued--

The Girl Who Died Next Door

Courtesy: Dr_Zoidberg (Licensed under Creative Commons)
The apartment next to mine had been lying empty for months and I'd sub-consciously assumed that I would never have a neighbour again. Considering that I live in a prime area of Mumbai, this should come as a surprise but then, that was no ordinary flat. Not only was it flat number 13 (I've tried explaining the Roman origins of the 13 bias numerous times to no avail) but it had also played host to a particularly gruesome suicide. That's the reason the previous owners had moved out. Their 14 year old daughter had committed suicide after allegedly being harassed by the house servant for a long time. From news reports that I had vicariously devoured, I gathered that Suvarna had hung herself from the ceiling - arguably the preferred choice for suicide aspirants. Several times during the night, I would dream of Suvarna, playing the motion of the rope biting into her neck and severing her veins in vicious slow motion and experiencing every second of excruciating pain until I awoke, bathed in sweat and full of curses for the girl who died next door. This may seem a tad heartless to you but I had never really known Suvarna. All she represented for me was an irrational fear and a reminder that gory deeds, meant to be housed safely in the fragrant pages of newspapers and the colourful images of television had actually become a reality for me.

Fortunately, I lived alone and hence was spared reliving the dramatic events that followed Suvarna's death  with my co-dwellers everyday. My family lived far away in Chennai and I had told them nothing about the suicide next door. I told them nothing of the scores of visitors, pretending to be relatives but merely wanting to scan the site of a murder like vulturous sadists. I never breathed a word about the cops who questioned me repeatedly until I wanted to plunge a knife into their uniform-covered paunches. I said nothing of coworkers pumping me for details and reacting with indignant anger at my studied reticence. All I told them was that the apartment next to me was no longer occupied and I was spared those awkward neighbourly smiles and stilted conversations that we are forced to have whenever we bump into those people who live a few feet away from us and yet mean nothing in our lives.

The worst part about apartment number 13 was the incessant ringing of the telephone. For some reason, their telephone was still active. Considering the blaring inefficiencies with which literally every system in this country operates, I shouldnt have been surprised. The bills kept piling up at the door but the phone stayed alive. Hadnt anyone informed the telephone company that there had been a death in that house and the tenants had moved out? Some days I would grow so frustrated listening to that persistent electronic sound from beyond the wall that I would contemplate marching up to the telephone office myself. I pictured myself looking at them with absolute disdain and the sarcastic tone in which I informed them that Apartment 13 had been vacated. But I never got around to doing it. I didn't have to because suddenly one rainy monsoon day, Apartment 13 was no longer empty.

Before you start thinking that ghosts had taken the tragedy-stricken family's place, let me assure you that they didn't. It was a lone stranger like myself that moved into the apartment next door. I was fast asleep since I went to work only around noon when the shrill ring of the doorbell had me walking groggily to the door. A tall, lanky man stood bearing a box of sweets and shuffling from one foot to the other awkwardly. "I'm told that this is what I'm supposed to do since I've just moved in here!" he declared. I chuckled croakily, taking in his rough, dark complexion and long hair in disarray. They were in complete contrast to the docile box of pedas he held out. "Don't you know by now that you should never do as 'they' say?" I said, making quotation marks in the air for 'they'. He merely looked confused. "Okay, come on in," I invited, surprising myself. You must have met my type. The kind that never lets a 'hi' turn into a real conversation or a neighbour turn into a friend. Yet, there I was, inviting this veritable stranger into my home. I didn't even have any proof that he really had moved in next door, though the casual kurta and trousers he wore sort of tipped me off. "Sure, thanks," he said and he smiled. That smile upon his rough-edged face nearly took my breath away. Like water on a smooth marble floor or a muslin cloth upon a table of wood, that smile stole across his face and transformed it to beauty.

--To be continued--

Miniature

Courtesy: Wikimedia Commons
(This is a story I wrote a couple of years ago. It won the third prize in the Revenge Ink all India horror story writing competition.) 

A Bonsai plant stood on her windowsill, a breath of Shinto in her little retreat. The children gazed at it in wonder. They compared it to the gigantic banyans and peepuls in the vicinity and pondered over whether it had been dwarfed by evil spirits. A poor little tree, cruelly restrained from its full glory. She did not see it that way. Nor did she wish others to see it that way. There lay the problem you see. She would explain, “It’s a miniature - a delicate ornament unlike those colossal beasts. This way you can see it whole, be right by its side. Feel its tree spirit. Feel its love. Can you feel that with those giants?” The children listened for they were fascinated by her. She did not speak like a child but she resembled one – just like elves and Lilliputians in their favourite fairytales. It was a delicious mystery for the kids and the very mystery endeared them to the child woman. There was nothing warm or malicious about it. It was just plain, raw curiosity.

"My sweet Pipah, come have your dinner…” she crooned, as to a baby. The sun had not yet surrendered, the ‘colossal beasts’ glowed with an unearthly magenta hue, swaying in the cool winter breeze - a breeze that gently teased your skin and senses to dangerous alertness. It is the kind of alertness that awakens the repressed among the less fortunate of the world. She shuddered and drew the curtains on the trees, not really shutting out the danger but at least gaining a momentary escape. Pipah had his dinner early. He was a miniature poodle. “Darling Pipah, my best friend,” she thought, her eyes moist. Pipah gazed back at her innocently – his blank memory a balm for all his experiences.

The children had heard sounds. A volley of high-pitched barks, not blood curdling but disturbing, emanating agony and terror. The children could feel it more deeply than the adults. The deliberate persistence and the unyielding brutality hit home and shocked them beyond imagination. One little girl lay awake at night, tortured by images of nightmare. “It must just be the street dogs having a brawl,” the adults would shrug. The children were not convinced. But after three days of such periodical echoes of canine horror, it halted. They never heard it again. Was the terror dead or the canine? They dared not wonder. And as children are, with time they forgot, their conscious memories erased. Yet, such habituation is undesirable. It gives rise to a numbness and an acceptance of violence.

The trees were tormenting her. She saw them in her dreams and her reveries – them blowing big and strong, grinning ghoulishly at her while she cowered underneath, ashamed of her debility. They intruded maliciously into her paintings and her handicrafts. She made handicrafts for a living. Once, someone had told her, “Why are you wasting time with these? Look at you, you could just dance on the streets and people would come to watch.” The trees were making her remember things best forgotten. Pipah sensed her mood and kept away. No more did he think he could tease his mistress. This was a mistress to be feared. This was a mistress who wanted things her way for she believed she was absolutely right.

The truck driver was annoyed. The trees were blocking his path. Had they fallen in the unexpected cyclone last night? Surely the storm hadn’t been so strong? Oh well, it was not his duty to mull over the causes. He had to worry about the consequence. The BMC people were called to clear the dead, grotesque shapes on the road. Nobody could explain how they had been shredded and shattered so badly. Nobody could explain the death of a man on the next street either. However, nobody thought of connecting the two events as one seemed monstrous wile the other human. It’s funny how injury to human beings seems more insensitive than destruction to other natural phenomena. The adults discussed it among themselves. “Motive. That’s what lacks. Why would anyone commit such mindless acts of violence?” “Don’t the police have any brains? Why haven’t they caught the killer yet?” “Oh well, who really cares about a poor man roaming with his dancing monkey?” The monkey had survived. The children knew nothing about it.

She was writing in her diary – a pretty, petite writing that didn’t quite befit the bony, worn and embittered fingers. The sun blazed in the relatively warm afternoon but her house seemed dark and the air cold. Cold thoughts can keep the sun out for years.

‘The world is too enormous. And so is the evil. The evil must not be allowed to grow. Innocence, purity, sweetness, it is all vanishing. They grow and as they grow, so does the devil inside them. I cannot take it much longer. How can I explain to them what I know, about the superiority of small, what they know as ‘miniature’? I was born a miniature. Each day, I thank God for making me so lucky. My parents were born miniatures too. Oh they called them ‘dwarfs’. But I abhor that word. To call me a dwarf is to make my size my only identity. Do they call themselves ‘talls’ or ‘fats’? But they find nothing wrong in labelling us that way. Mama and papa died from the big ones’ cruelty. I will not die. I will fight. I hate thinking about it but the winter is having its effect on me. As I walk on the street, they all stare at me - the children in curiosity, the adults in vulgar distaste, pity or contempt and some of the men, lecherously. What gives them the right to look down upon me? They are all dwarfs inside. They have dwarfed hearts and dwarfed minds. Their entire lives are a miniature - unrequited love, unfulfilled dreams, dead faces and dead realms. I always have to look up – to them, the sky, the buildings, to love, to honour and to life itself. I wish I could seize the sky and bring it down to my level. I want us all to be equals. I want it so badly.’

It all started with science class. “A malfunction of the thyroid gland or the pituitary gland can stunt growth, making the individual dwarfed. It can result in mental or sexual deformity as well.” Sona immediately thought about the child-woman in her locality. Half of her was sad that the mystery was now no longer a mystery, while the other half rejoiced at the very fact. All the children came to know. They conversed excitedly amongst themselves. “So she isn’t an elf after all!” “I doubt she has any magical powers!” But when she passed with Pipah, they would stop abruptly – some out of regard for her feelings and others to stare at her and gloat in their newfound knowledge. She was surprised. “Why are they behaving like the adults now?” she wondered in pain. She would walk on, her head downcast. She loved the earth. It was the one thing she could look down upon. They walked together - she and Pipah. Alone in their sadness. Together in their solitude. Of what avail were all her struggles and all her efforts to keep up her strength? What kind of a life was this where love was but a distant dream – a pie in the sky? Sand dusted her small shoes and the wind tossed her hair, raising it so that her ears had no protection. “Dwarfy, dwarfy! Hey stunty! We know what you are!” She would not believe it at first. Then the refrains grew louder. “You’ll never grow up! You’re just a tiny grown-up! Are you even as intelligent? Do you have any brains?” They were closing in upon her. She stood rooted to the spot, Pipah whining piteously. The children looked almost taller than her now. In the twilight, their ghostly faces glimmered with childish spite. Bile rose up inside her. Was she going to die?

They all disappeared. The children. Banyan Road attained a deathly halo. The dead leaves and a stray insect were the only beings to flutter about in the streets. The adults were all silent. Even tears were too great for the shock. All their idle gossip, their dog like professions, their married lives – nothing was worth the loss of so many lives – lives that were their only hope for a better world. Growing up is all about realising how cursed the world is. The only sounds heard were at her little house. She was cultivating a garden. She dug all day, humming a song composed by herself, Pipah by her side. Pipah, whose evil big dog-like barks she had silenced forever. She sang:

O monkey man, o monkey man, the monkey was cleverer than you
She knew what not to utter and at the sight of peril, she flew

O monkey man, o monkey man, how dared you say all that?

The very same way I dared to stick a knife into you!

O colossal beasts, my dear beasts, how lofty you once stood

Proud in your strength and slighted by the tiny brood

But did you imagine, my colossal beasts that one night

A stormy night, the rain with my aid would set it right?

All’s right with the world, all’s right with the world,

Now that the strength of the miniature’s unfurled!

The children had not been born miniature. But they had died miniature. Rage had unveiled its claws and she had unleashed her god-given gift – the brutal strength that possessed her in times of humiliation on the children. Bereft of their innocence they had no right to live. They had no right to make her life hell while they dreamt of heaven. Stones, branches, bare hands, teeth, nails – these were but weapons of death, destruction and emancipation. Shrill screams, cries of help and pleas of mercy were but ploys to turn her away from her duty – to overpower her and outsmart her. All the children she had loved and thought loved her in return were nothing but flesh and blood strung together by vile emotions. Their blood flowed and wet the dusty ground and along with it flowed all their malice and hatred. Their torn hair and stripped flesh burnt and stung the air with the fragrance of the victory of good over evil. And when the carnage was complete, she had tenderly picked up what was left of them and lovingly laid them on the ground in her courtyard. Their innocence had been entombed forever in the tiny graves, deep beneath her garden. Her duty was done. Yes, now there was no one left to love but at least she had a memory. An angelic smile spread across her face. And she continued gardening, watched by the Bonsai plant.