From Pixabay (By PublicDomainPictures) |
We may dislike the pre-attached notions and implications that come with labels but labels are inevitable. In your head, you have many different boxes, each with a label like 'Best friends', 'Close friends', 'Life partner', 'Acquaintances', 'Friends at work', 'Favourite cousins' and so on. And as we move through life, we keep populating these boxes. We do, however, have to be open to the possibility of subtracting from and adding to these boxes. We also have to be open to shifting some names from one box to another. Heck, we may even have to create new boxes altogether to accommodate connections that do not fall into any of the existing mental categories.
What I'm trying to say is, people don't have to grow apart. They just need to find new ways to fit into each other's lives. Because relationships matter. They provide joy, security, conversations, adventures and ideas. They help us find our place in the world. And with every closed/failed relationship, there is a memory deficit - a void that could have been avoided if the relationship had been allowed to change shape and accepted in its new form.
Every morning, we wake up as slightly altered versions of ourselves. We also wake up with subtle rearrangements of all the important relationships that we have chosen to cultivate. And that's a good thing. Has the nature of a friendship changed? Find new ways to bond, care and add value to each other's lives. Redefine yourself and your relationships as you go, because that's the only thing that will help you cope with changing circumstances and priorities. Do not sacrifice precious connections at the altar of marriage, job shifts, movement across cities or even countries. Allow them to breathe, transform and evolve. Redefine them everyday if you will, because that's the only way you'll save them.
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